Tips For Parents

I’ve interviewed my parents to help with this section. I don’t think when I started at 12 years old that I had any perspective for what they were walking into! Here are some things they wished they knew…

1. At the beginning, stay for the game if you are able to. While it may seem weird to be at your kid’s job, you are a calming presence. Much like if you watch them play sports, you can build their confidence just by being there. 

2. Don’t engage with other parents/players/coaches. Ever. Often they are yelling at the “sweater” or ref position, not your actual child. Regardless, be invisible to the process. You are just there to support your kid.

3. Most hockey parents don’t really know the rules. They thought they did when I was just a player, but boy were they wrong! A great example is the “too many players” violation. It’s not as simple as six players from one team being on the ice. There are other requirements that have to be in place before that penalty is called. Most parents don’t know the standards of play like the officials do.

4. Another benefit to staying in the rink is that you will be on site if things have the potential to turn ugly. We all know that some hockey coaches and parents can take things too seriously. When I was just starting out, after the game, they would position themselves somewhere in the path from where I left the ice to the door of the locker room. They didn’t talk to me, walk near me, or even make eye contact. They were simply there in case things had a potential to get heated with a coach or parent. It turns out that, in general, no one wants to be aggressive in front of a stranger, so their silent presence helped avoid some unnecessary bad situations.

5. Let your kid own their position – mistakes and all. They are in charge on the ice. They will not get all the calls right, but we’ve all made mistakes at work. Recognize that through this job, they will build confidence and gain valuable communication, leadership, and decision-making skills.

6. Work with your kid on their availability. Be sure they are able to make it to games before opening up their calendar. This is their job and a serious commitment. Turning back or declining games because of an inaccurate calendar is a quick way to ruin the relationship with an assignor. Eventually, after too many turn backs, your kid will just stop getting games altogether.